Weekly Stonerscope – May 6

WHICH STRAINS YOU SHOULD SMOKE ACCORDING TO YOUR WEEKLY HOROSCOPE

Aries

March 21 – April 19

If you’ve been feeling selfish or have been suspected of being selfish lately, then the best option to rid of this foolishness is with a fun hybrid and by shining some attention onto someone else. Smoke some Cinderella 99 with them or do them a nice favor. You’ll notice some self-growth happening this week because of a person testing your virtues. Though you’re in the mood for accepting something new, it’s going to take a long time to process and get used to; just stay willing. Get yourself an indica like Do-Si-Doe and chill the hell out this weekend; get into your lazy mode and just enjoy some relaxation, Aries.

Taurus

April 20 – May 20

The week may start out quite dull, so get a sativa like Narnia to get your adventurous and creative mood going, and within time something wonderful may happen. Smoke some with your friends and the love and appreciation will rise high amongst all of you, so high that someone might get jealous over you. This strange feud of jealousy is only showing how adored you all are. This weekend, spend it with a hybrid like Headband, let go and give yourself some self-love; you deserve it, boo.

Gemini

May 21 – June 20

It’s a busy week for you Gemini, regarding either your work, love interest, or new projects, so stay focused with a hybrid. XJ-13 is a great strain to keep your mind still going incase things don’t go the way you planned. Take charge of your life and whatever life decisions you make this week, but be smart about it all, not careless. This weekend, turn over to a nice, light sativa like Sugar Plum to enjoy with some good friends for a fun and stress-free adventure.

Cancer

June 21 – July 22

You might be in the mood for a change at your home, but it’s not with how the furniture looks around the house, it’s more of an emotional issue. If you’re dealing with a problem at home, then you must deal with it head-on; do so with a confident sativa like Euforia that will also help you get all the words you need out. By the end of the week, you might be too far into your head to be doing anything productive, so get an indica and do you this weekend. Treat yourself with Mr. Nice and maybe a funny movie or go for a nice, long walk.

Leo

July 23 – August 22

This week stick close to your friends, stay connected with them over a smoke sesh with a hybrid like Cherry Pie to get everyone giggly and chilled. Don’t leave your love life out of this smoke sesh, it’s a great week to just be yourself with people that only bring out the best in you. By the end of the week, quit wondering why everything is going great and just enjoy the time to be alive; get a sativa like Purple Haze to open up your creative and adventurous side.

Virgo

July 23 – August 22

If you’re in the mood to go on a bit of a shopping spree, then bring along a friend whose advice you value. You could use a second opinion and possibly even go halfsies on a bigger purchase. Enjoy your fun outing with a hybrid like Blue Dream to keep you mellowed out, but still choosey about your purchases. Near the end of the week, you may fall into a good conversation over what want versus what you need, leaving you with eyes wide open and mind fully blown. Get yourself an indica that will keep your mind in a happy place while you go over some questionable thoughts. Sweet Tooth will keep you relaxed and positive.

Libra

August 23 – September 22

Everyone around you seems overly flirtatious; there’s something about you that’s got everyone else smiling, so stay confidently glowing with a sativa. Green Crack will keep your mood way high, happy, and satisfied; it’ll also make you pretty sociable for your surroundings, so stay slick and stylish. By the middle of the week, you might be overly busy and weighed down with a lot of work you need to finish, but don’t worry, you’re not one to fall behind on work. By the weekend, switch over to a chill hybrid that will help you achieve the things you want to do and the things you have to do; Permafrost will keep you active and creatively thinking.

Scorpio
October 23 – November 21

Decision making is definitely not your forte this week, you can’t make up your mind over very important things; love, friends, food, family, you feel like you’re on all sides and don’t know where to land. Get yourself a hybrid like Animal Cookies to relax your mind from any more of this-or-that thinking. It’s all about being patient, dear Scorpio, and your answer will rise to the surface when ready. The truth will reveal itself without you having to make any decisions, so by the end of the week, be ready with a sativa like Purple Haze to keep you very happy, relaxed, and away from any depressive thoughts. Surround yourself with the people you feel strongly attached to this weekend and maybe go on a magical adventure.

Sagittarius

November 22 – December 21

You need to mentally prepare yourself for what you might be getting yourself into. You’re obviously loved by your friends, but your relationships with others can’t help you in any way with your career. Enjoy a hybrid with your friends during some down time; Juicy Fruit is a fun and creative strain to get those brain juices flowing. You might be too deep in your head right now, but there are serious matters, possibly related to the law, that need to be dealt with, so get yourself a sativa like Sour Jack that will keep your energy and focus up so you’re better prepared and confidently in control.

Capricorn

December 22 – January 19

It doesn’t matter what others may think, at the end it only matters what you think Capricorn. Get yourself a sativa like Super Jack to get your mind thinking and focused on what it is you want your next project to be. Maybe find some inspiration through some friends or by going outside and doing fun activities. By the weekend, you’ll have a very clear image of what you want to do, so get a hybrid like AK-47 and enjoy your weekend focusing on your deepest desires with no worries and no stress.

Aquarius

January 20 – February 18

Get out of your comfort zone this week with a sativa like Maui Wowie that will take you on an adventure. Meanwhile, go out on an adventure and actually meet somebody who is the complete opposite of you and learn something new. It can be fun and intellectual. You might be needed to give a speech this week, do so with confidence and then treat yourself to an indica like King Louis XIII and just chill out and enjoy your lit weekend.

Pisces

February 19 – March 20

Some people just suck; they keep saying they’ll do something with you and then keep flaking. Enough is enough, Pisces! You’re strong enough to take on anything you need to and you can do so happily with an energizing sativa like Super Silver Haze. They may have flaked for a good reason, but you don’t need them anymore. As you do more on your own, you’ll grow stronger and eventually flake on the people who used you when they needed you. Do it with a sweet, nice buzz from a hybrid like Pineapple Express. You’ll see things start to go your way.

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